This Blondie Wants Babies: Knock, Knock...

Anyone still out there???

11 WHOLE MONTHS since I last posted! I am such a blog fail. Sorry!

I think about you all often and even still catch up on your blogs/news... Just been horrible about posting my own! A very big part of that has to do with not wanting to hurt any of you still in the trenches, waiting for your little miracles. Survivors guilt. For those of you that this update might hurt... I am sorry. :(

An update:

Things are great. Just really everything I wanted and more.

Baby A is fun, spirited, crazy and has taken over my life. Lol. Everything is so busy now!

Cannot believe she is turning 1 at the end of this month! Party planning is in full effect right now with only 3 more weeks to go till the big day. We are doing a "Breakfast at Ashley's" theme. Hope it turns out great!

The past 11 months have been awesome although not completely without their struggles.

My special girl began her life with colic... which was so hard. I was so sad. All I could think was "I wanted her so bad and she's miserable here". It was like the sun breaking through the clouds when her colic mellowed out at around 5 months. OMG. It was tough. I don't wish it on anyone.

Then came the bottle struggles... she didn't want the bottle at all. We had attempted to bottle train (with pumped milk) around a month old to just give some flexibility in our schedules and allow family to watch her and feed her when needed. That didn't go well so after a bit I gave up and just kept nursing. At around 6 months of age I was planning a girls trip for a weekend and it became necessary to revisit the bottle feeding so hubby could feed her while I was away. I started a month out from the trip. It was absolutely horrible. She would just scream and scream everytime the bottle came near. I tried 10 different kinds of bottles/nipples before I found one that she seemed to tolerate better then the others. After a brutal 4 weeks she would finally take decent amounts of pumped milk from a bottle. I tried to mix up bottle feeding and nursing from then on to keep her in the practice of taking a bottle. It continued to be pretty painful for a while. She dropped from the 90% in weight to the 35% from her various hunger strikes. Such a tough time. Lol. Finally in July, I weaned completely (she was 9 months old at that time). I knew I had enough pumped/stored milk to get her through the next few months to take her right up to her 1st b-day. I had needed to stop breastfeeding to possibly start an ivf cycle for baby #2 in the next few months! Once I weaned her and wasn't toggling between nursing and bottle... It got a lot better. She had finally gotten the hang of it. Through this whole process I realized what a stubborn little girl I had.

Breastfeeding was simply amazing. For all of our struggles getting pregnant and staying pregnant... This was something that finally came easy. I enjoyed it immensely. The special time with my girl and really feeling needed. It, of course, hurt in the beginning. I expected that. I had to use a shield for about a week on my left side cause it was so raw and sore. But after a few weeks, we were in a groove. I had a huge supply as well. I started pumping to boost it up about a month in and boy that sure worked. Haha. I was up to about 66 ounces a day for a long time (she was only eating about 28). This was a special gift and I took full advantage of it! Filled my freezer, friend's freezers, family's freezers and eventually started donating! I donated to 4 different families! I even shipped it across the country to New York to a very special family. It was such a blessing and I hope I utilized it to its fullest!

From the beginning she has always been a great sleeper. Even in her crazy colic days when she would cry for hours and hours a day... She still slept great at night. That part was a godsend. We loosely followed the BabyWise sleep training program which worked great for us and her (we started sleep training around 5 weeks old). Currently she sleeps from 7:30pm to 7am-ish with two naps during the day (9:30am-11:30am and 2:30pm-4:30pm).

Developmentally A has always seemed a bit early on things. Holding her head up, sitting up, standing, cruising and walking all happened at the beginning range of when she should be learning those things. She was walking by her 9 month birthday. Full-on walking. I was so unprepared for it! She was such a little thing too! It was so cute seeing this little 16 pounder walking around! Now she is running. She hates being held and always wants to be on her own two feet which makes it interesting when I am trying to get somewhere quickly. Lol.

All in all... it has been great. Even during the hard times, I was just so thankful my take home baby had finally made it home!

More updates to come soon!