I have once again let that bull in my china shop. IVF #3 has started. Eeeep!
I willingly have begun this process again. The bull (our ivf cycle) is full of unknowns and comes blundering into my shop, taking over my attention/energy in this all encompassing force to be reckoned with. And at any moment... something might break. The shop is me... my body, spirit, heart and life. And frankly... I am fragile. Just like china in a shop. After all the ups and downs associated with IF and the years of trying/cycling, I am fragile. Letting that bull back into my shop is unnerving, scary and bound for destruction. One way or another.
I am hoping this cycle... the bull brings me destruction of my current barren status. That would be fabulous.
This is my current favorite metaphor I am relating to IVF and cycling. Represents so perfectly how I feel.
Outside of having an aggressive, domineering and potentially harmful bovine in my fragile, been hurt before and scared self... I am excited about the cycle. Things just seem fresh and new. New cycle, new doctor, different protocol, new drugs, new diagnosis all falling in a new year. That has got to be lucky, no?
Had my suppression check yesterday, after a week on Lupron, and all looked great! Started stims last night! I am on Follistim (250 units), Luveris (1 ampule), Lupron (10 units), Lovenox (for MTHFR), MetaNx (Pill-for MTHFR), Dexamethasone (pill) and my normal other supplements/vitamins daily. The Follistim and Luveris dosages stay as listed till my first monitoring appointment on Thursday. Shots went great last night but I really woke up with a headache today. Not sure which of the drugs to blame (if any) but we shall see if it persists.
Looking forward to the process that will be unfolding over the next few weeks. Thanks for listening and being a special part of my journey.
How exciting! Sending you lots of prayers and good vibes for this cycle! I hope this is the one!
ReplyDeleteI am sure your headache is from the drugs. I got them too in my last cycle. Very excited for you! Hoping this one is the one!
ReplyDeleteI'm excited for you getting a completely a fresh start on this cycle with a new doc. Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteYAY!!! Good Luck!!
ReplyDeleteI am hopeful for you! This will work this time, it's your turn. (I know it doesn't work that way, but still)
ReplyDeletegood luck with those meds, it's a wild ride to the finish line.
That is a great metaphor. I am really hoping things work out for you this time! Fingers crossed. I look forward to reading your experiences through this cycle.
ReplyDeleteI am crossing my fingers and toes for you. So good that you have a new plan and a new team. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteGood Luck! I blame the Lupron for the headaches usually.
ReplyDeleteSo exciting you are starting! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI like your metaphor. Good luck with stims!!
ReplyDeleteYou're an amazing writer! So glad to next with you through our mutual friend. I will be following your journey and rooting for you. Posting your link on page as well.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for stopping by my blog and offering encouragement!! I look forward to cheering you on this cycle and have all of my fingers and toes crossed that this journey brings you closer to your dream :)
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