Thursday, January 26, 2012

Day #4 of Stims

So... stabbing myself in the belly has been going good. 

Day #4 of stims today and my first monitoring appointment for this cycle. 

Dr. Cold was his usual cold self... not warming up yet. I was thinking he would possibly warm up after we actually paid for the cycle... but no. Hasn't happened. Haha. 

No measurable follicles yet and my E2 level was 161. I think I might go rummage through my previous cycle paperwork to see how that compares from my last cycles just to see if that is a normal number after 3 days of stims. 

My dosage of Follistim is being increased from 250iu to 300iu. Luveris (1 vial) and lupron (10 units) dosages are staying the same. 

Still dealing with a constant headache.   :( 

Forced myself back to the acupuncturist yesterday. I had been sorta avoiding her since our loss. Not 100% sure why... but what I think it might be is this: She reminds me of our lost baby. The last time I saw her... she was doing a treatment to try and help "calm the fetus" and control the hematoma/bleeding. By my next scheduled appointment with her, we had lost it. I cancelled my appointment for that day and crawled into a hole for months. She called me to do a cleanse appointment, emailed, etc and I ignored her. I knew going back to her would bring about the "what happened" discussion and frankly I didn't want to talk about it. So I avoided. And avoided. BUT finally went back yesterday. She asked a lot of questions. Specifically she wanted me to go back through how the cycle ended, when I passed the tissue, what that was like, what my periods have been like since, etc. It was hard but maybe necessary. Laying on that table I was brought back to how I felt in that same room last cycle (in the weeks of treatment before the loss). I remembered it being a place of serenity for me.... I had felt really at peace when laying there... almost spiritual... praying for my cycle, my eggs, my embabies, etc. Last cycle had been such a positive experience (despite the ending) and I had really attributed acupuncture to a part of that. I am not in the same space this cycle. A little more guarded, hurt and nervous. I have another acupuncture appointment tomorrow and am going to focus on relaxing and summoning my inner peace. Maybe now that the initial visit back to her is over... I can breathe easier when in there. Maybe I should have gone to a new place since this one was muddled with so many memories/pain? I don't know... perhaps dealing with it is a part of the healing process. I look forward to hopefully more healing on the table tomorrow.

Next monitoring appointment is on Saturday!    


  1. Glad the stim is going well. Hope those eggs grow nice and big and your E2 gets nice and high!!

  2. Those follies better get-a-goin'! That seems like a lot of Follistim. I hope you get amazing results during your next appointment.

  3. Sorry about your headache. Maybe you should give your acupuncturist one more day, if you still aren't feeling at ease, time to ditch her too! Thinking about you!

  4. My E2 was 163 after 3 nights of stims and then the increased my dose. I ended up with E2 level in the 2200's before trigger and 12 eggs retrieved...good luck. Good luck with the acupuncture appointment. You could always try a massage if you don't feel better after seeing her.

  5. They had me on 525 of the follistim this cycle. Fortunately my headaches weren't as bad as last IVF. Maybe its because I didn't watch television which only made the mild ones worse.

    Wishing you all the best. Hope you get some good news soon.

  6. Good Luck tomorrow. Hoping there are lots of follies to count and measure!

  7. Hi Denise! Found your blog through CycleSista. I'm doing FET #1 after 2 failed fresh IVF-ICSI cycles.

    Sounds like you are moving right along with this cycle! Your E2 level sounds great to me.

    I'm doing acupuncture for the 1st time this round. I'm not completely convinced it does anything, but it does provide me a calm little break in my day, if nothing else.

    Look forward to reading more of your posts!


  8. the acupuncture appointment had to be very painful for you, especially since you had allowed it in as such a positive part of the journey. but good for you for going, please don't give it up- even if you have to go somewhere else. I am such a believer that it does so much for our poor bodies that the stims and drugs take away :)

    hope yesterday went well!

  9. Thanks for your comment on my blog. I had the same feelings about having bad memories at my old clinic. I thought going to a new one would help, but I'm just as anxious there. I think it's the experience, not the specific place that brings back bad memories. Hoping you can enjoy acupuncture again!

    Sounds like your cycle is progressing well. I'm will be following along!